Unless someone like you cares an awful lot; Nothing is going to get better; it's not.—The Lorax

The Rapid Compost Guide

This guide is meant to help you quickstart your compost journey by explaining one of the quickest composting methods you can use. The principles are inspired by the 'Berkeley method' which can produce usable soil within 18 days.

Quickstart

Shred/mulch/blend the organic matter (browns and greens, but browns especially).
Pay attention to the ingredients and calculate your overall C:N ratio and try to get it to around 25:1. Additionally, look out for any ingredients that might make the pH too acidic or alkaline. Also make sure there are good sources of specific minerals. Add special ingredients as needed.
Make a heap of compost that's about a 1.5m cube. You can add bokashi or other EMOs to help ferment. You should at least add some healthy soil to introduce certain microbes. You can also make sure worms are in the mix to help out.
Keep it in the sun, but water it to make sure it doesn't dry out. After 4 days, take the outsides of the heap and put it in another heap. Then take the insides and make a wall around the outside bits with the inside bits.
Repeat step 4 until you have good quality compost (~2 weeks). After you plant your plants, you can add mycorrhizal fungi mix.

Protips

Moisture content should be ~50-60%. A good rule of thumb is to take a handful of compost and squeeze it. If water comes out, it's too wet. If it crumbles, it's too dry. A more thorough way to measure would be to weigh some compost before and after drying it out.
Sun and rain are important natural elements to decomposition but too much sun exposure can dry out your pile and too much rain can waterlog it and create conditions for anaerobic bacteria to survive.
Many guides suggest "layering" your piles (e.g. 3 layers of brown and 1 layer of green). This doesn't really help with anything, but may make it easier to keep track of the brown:green ratios.
High temperatures is obviously the goal with hot composting, but temperatures that are too high can kill even most thermophiles. If temperatures get above ~65°C (149°F) cool down the pile by turning it over in order to cool it down. The goal is to maintain a temperature above 55°C (131°F) since this is where most pathogens to plants (and even to humans) die off.
The goal of a large compost pile is more insulation which allows you to maintain higher temperatures more easily. However, there are other ways to insulate which might allow you to get away with a smaller pile.
The shape and texture of compost materials matters. Certain materials might create more aeration spaces which can affect many characteristics of your compost pile.
Ultimately, the C:N measurement is just a rule of thumb and won't always give you an accurate estimation of how long it can take a material to break down. There are many forms of carbon and complex chemicals like lignan will take much longer to break down than sugar.
A compost screen can be used to separate out bigger chunks of material that haven't yet decomposed. These pieces can be added to your next heap.
Stay in drugs
Eat your school
Don't do vegetables

Browns and Greens

If you prefer to 'set it and forget it' and let your food waste "cold compost", then that can totally work and you'll likely have usable soil within a year (depending on the climate where you live). The alternative to this is "hot composting" where you create the right conditions for microorganism activity to increase so much that you can actually burn your hand if you were to put it inside your heap. Regardless of how much effort you want to put into it, learning the principles of the Berkeley method can still help you create soil in a faster, safer, and possibly less stinky way!